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  • Lauren Tatro

The Return to Your Muchness


A real life tale inspired by Tim Burton’s rendition of Alice in Wonderland.


You’ve lost your muchness. You used to be, much more muchier.


When we arrive into this world, our child-like muchness is in its full potency. Have you ever seen a baby not completely mesmerized by everything around him? Eyes sparkling with delight. Crying when he needs to, giggling when he feels moved, taking chances to learn how to walk without ANY thoughts in his mind saying ‘you can’t do this.’ Full throttle, potential.


As we grow, and start to become conditioned to our surroundings, to our culture, to our family views and way of life – I can’t help but wonder if our muchness starts to go deeper into the rabbit hole with every year that passes. The art of domestication. For it certainly isn’t a Science.


There you are – standing in front of a room of spectators, expected to marry a man that you know, deep down, isn’t meant for you. (Hello increasing divorce rate). They are all watching. Expecting. Before you know it – you are running away, mentally, emotionally, physically – the seeking for more begins.

Down the rabbit hole we shall go.


The fascinating thing about the characters in Alice in Wonderland is that they ALL live in Alice’s head. Or do they? The judgements begin forming from each character – whether internal or an external representation of our subconscious. Before you know it, self-doubt sets in, deeply.


The wrong Alice. No – she’s the right one, I am certain of it. Give her a chance! Such a pull, a game of cat and mouse ensues.


You feel the full power of the real Alice, but somehow you’ve gotten lost along the way.


I’ve been told what I must do, and who I must be. This is MY dream – I make the path. How can I be the wrong Alice if this is my dream?


Every voice inside begins to sing the same tune. You have a greater purpose, you must believe it. When you take a step in the direction of your purpose, your muchness begins to return. Until then? Imposter syndrome. I believe this is what I want, but I am not all in. There are doubts, there are other people’s expectations, there is judgement. But no, I am THEE Alice. The result of being one foot in and one foot out – isn’t a good one.


The Truth: It’s only a dream, nothing can hurt you.


Insight: When we step away from ‘reality’ for a moment, to observe the thoughts – the characters – the storyline, it becomes crystal clear. I’ve been the dreamer and the dream, the entire time.

We are truly the teacher and the student, the singer and the song, the creator and the created. If we are creating our own reality, forming our own dream – how come so many people are walking around helpless, uninspired and lacking purpose? They’re asleep. By being asleep, we become so consumed by our circumstances as reality – that a haze begins to form, enter the Martyr.



The Mad Hatter has run off to save me, he wouldn’t be there if it not for me. The letdown, the shame, the guilt. It’s a powerful chisel. Carving it’s way through our existence and shaping it.


You used to be the life of the party! The ruler supreme, all eyes on me – what a beautiful pedestal indeed. Guess what? Muchness doesn’t live on a pedestal. For living up to someone else’s desires has a false bottom. You will fall out of favor, there will always be better – more beautiful – stronger. Yes, if that’s the code you agree to, you will be replaced.


Insight: What if I told you that the key to returning to your muchness was truly about creating your own desires, having your own personal standard for yourself – holding yourself in the highest esteem, in the most humble, gracious way possible. Falling out of favor, doesn’t hurt. What people think of your purpose and your path – truly is a dream – created by your own cast of characters.

The Red Queen, The White Queen, The Ruler, The Rebel, The Light, The Dark.


You’ll lose your head. I already have! Yes.


It’s a who, not a what. We must see each other for who we really are, not the adjectives we use to describe each other.


The fat boys. AMUSE ME! After we blast into this universe like a meteorite – eyes sparkling with the stars, we begin to take shape. Our characters have demands, desires – and want YOU to be the distraction. A caged, evolutionary beginning.


The trees seem sad. Have you been speaking to them? Well, perhaps it’s time you started speaking more kindly. Everything responds to love. Water, plants, the frequencies around us thrive when love is emitted. Words matter. They have the power to shift the ENTIRE dream, if we are asleep.


If we are woke, we are able to see it for what it is – someone else’s trauma, pain, self-judgement or need to put us on a pedestal, being cast on us like a spell. They take hold, they become hard wired.


Is it not better to be feared than loved? I am not certain anymore. I’ve lost my way. I’m frightened Alice – I don’t like it in here, it’s terribly crowded. Have I gone mad?

You are entirely bonkers. All the best people are.

Stepping more and more towards your mission, even when other’s doubt your identity – is the return to your muchness. Tea, party of one – or many, you are the creator. You must believe you are Alice before anyone will see you for who you are.


Just add 2 tablespoons of wishful thinking, and the people will rise.


You’re almost Alice.


There will always ‘seem’ to be an opposing force – if you keep staring at it, believing it, giving it power – it wins. Off with its HEAD!


The Red Queen – is surrounded by imposters – all of which pretending to be deformed to make her feel more comfortable. Shape shifters joining you in the misery to feel part of something and needed by someone. You are the company you keep – take a look around and assess the characters in YOUR dream.


Also, sister relationships can be deep, intense and confusing at times. That’s okay – you chose each other to learn more about your existence, your mission – seeing the light and dark all around.


It is against my vows to harm any living things, except bugs. I am working on that.


So you mean to tell me, that this has ALL come from my own mind? You’d have to be half mad to dream me up. It’s already written yet shapes to our intentions and desires – all at the same time.

Craft carefully, craft freely, and intentionally.

Don’t live your life to please others – when you step into your full potential and power, it naturally, will help others. Hi light-worker, I see you.


The choice must be yours or the creature will win. You face it alone. Stand on your own two feet. I am going to die – this is so intense, so fearful NO sweet child, it’s the exact opposite - you are going to live. Your, best, life. It’s simply the pain of transformation.


This is impossible.


Only if you believe it is. In fact, we must believe 6 impossible things before breakfast!


1. There’s a potion that can make you small (words and perceptions of others).


2. A cake that can make you grow (ego, unquenchable need for more).


3. Animals can talk (everyone is on their own wavelength – which one will you tune into?).


4. Cats can disappear (did they ever really leave?).


5. There is a place called Wonderland (it exists in your muchness).


6. I can SLAY the Jabberwocky (you can do hard things, in fact, Alice is counting on you).


Get woke, lose your stories, find your muchness and in the end? Just dance.


Love, Lauren





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